Don’t get me wrong, my children are amazing.
They both have me wrapped around their little fingers and I really do feel the sense of overwhelming love when I see their faces every morning.
But what is it really like?
There are so many good bits and bad bits on a daily basis.
Some days I can’t think of anything better than being a mum, other days I just want to hide away under my duvet, stick Netflix on and eat my weight in chocolate Hobnobs.
One of the bad bits is lack of sleep, all I have dreamt about for the past 5 months is a full nights sleep (+ lay in).
I never realised how much my general wellbeing (face included) relied on sleep. “Are you feeling ok? You look ill.” Yep, just tired.
Whinge whinge whinge.
Constant crying and whingeing is my number one.
If you think THAT shit storm passes over the age of 4, it doesn’t.
I don’t think a day passes without moaning about a lost toy, or The Simpsons isn’t on TV yet, and the dinner they wanted, turns out it WASN’T what they wanted. And that’s just me!
Envy is a sin, apparently.
My lovely sister, who has no children and plans quiet, weekend breaks.
I try to control my inner green-eyed monster each time she calls, to tell me she only slept in til 8am.
IF ONLY YOU KNEW.
Being on time.
As soon as that front door opens, Alfie will have this undying urge to take a crap, a long, 20 minute crap.
Or Holly, who has refused to feed for the last half hour, will then decide now is the perfect time. Great.
I do like having a tidy home, but with kids – you might as well not bother.
Our house resembles a Toys R Us that’s been broken into and trashed 99% of the time, I’ve tried to embrace the mess, “They’re just kids” as Rob kindly tells me as I’m sobbing whilst picking up one thousand four hundred Lego pieces.
Hearing Alfie say “I love you so much Mummy” has to be the top best bits of having children.
To know that absolute crazy melt down you had the day before over spilling your breast milk didn’t change their thoughts of you (pretty sure he still thinks I’m a crazy b****).
Cuddles & kisses.
Ah, is there anything better?!
This is what I call a best bit (unless Holly has been feeding every hour all day and I cannot stand the thought of being touched).
It’s knowing that they get so much comfort from you, even when you’re silently daydreaming about that chocolate sundae you have waiting for you at the back of the fridge.
Smiles and laughing.
Yes I cry most days, including losing my s*** over the smallest things.
But me and Alfie are forever laughing and that’s the sort of bond we share, if he does something clumsy, instead of making it into a big deal, we laugh about it.
We’ll laugh at our failures and sometimes laugh at things which are supposedly serious.
You don’t realise how dull your home life actually is until you have children which liven it up again.
If you find yourself reminiscing about your life before children, your not alone.
To miss the freedom to do anything you wanted, not having to worry if you forgot to bring the s***ing baby wipes.
These times, both good and bad, are something I look forward to look back on when my children have grown up.
To get emotional about the cute bits, and to try laugh at the bad bits.
They’re only little for such a short amount of time, I try to enjoy every minute, and sometimes fail miserably of course.
They drive me crazy, fill my heart with so much pride and reduce me to tears most days, but I love them so damn much.