Most of you won’t know, but I am the most negative person ever. For example, if Rob comes downstairs one morning, opens the curtains and says “I think the weather will brighten up this afternoon” I will most likely reply “Doubt it, will probably rain”. It does wind Rob up, but I can’t help it! I’m not sure whether it’s a trait I’ve inherited from my parents or something I’ve grown up to be like. Although Alfie is quite a positive person – I’ve noticed recently he can sometimes have a very negative attitude towards certain things and I know I can be the only one to blame for that.
Children’s minds are like sponges, they take in everything you say and do. I’ve noticed a pattern in which – If I wake up in a negative, bad mood, Alfie will begin to act up. Due to this, I’ll deal with it with a negative reaction of course, thinking it will install some discipline – when in actual fact it’s doing the complete opposite. After all, a negative plus a negative, equals a negative! I can’t expect him to be in a fabulous mood when I myself am in a complete grump over nothing.
So when Alfie does act up, I’ll be telling him off for a mood which I’ve created. Because I suffer dealing with negativity on a regular basis, I struggle to deal with Alfie’s too, so I never deal with it in the right way. Sometimes I think I try to change Alfie for how he is when he’s negative, which is rich considering the negative side of him is a trait given from his mother! If Alfie says “Ugh, I hate this dinner, it’s not what I wanted” I’ll soon pipe up saying “Why do you have to be so ungrateful? You should be thanking me” by doing that, I’m judging him for not liking a certain food, again, showing negativity. A simple “Oh, that’s a shame it’s not what you wanted” would do no harm, and eventually he’d start eating it.
He hears me say negative things on a daily basis – whether it’s to myself, during a phone call or to someone. And whilst I’m dealing with those negative feelings, I’m forgetting to support Alfie with his and instead I will judge him for it. Most days I just need to grit my teeth and not react to it and instead give a more positive approach to things. Although I definitely can’t change how I am, I can definitely change my attitude towards a lot of things.
This week I’m wanting to set myself a ‘3 Day Be Positive Challenge’ starting tomorrow, to help me become more positive, in the hope it can have a positive effect on Alfie too. Whether it’s something I’ve done, seen, heard or thought of. I’m tagging a few of my favourite mummy bloggers to join in!
Aimee at Mum Amie
Lauren at The Mummy Side of Life
and Emma at mummyemblog
Can’t wait to see the positivity! L xx