Transitioning from one child to two – how hard could it be?
..Is what I googled – 8 months pregnant, curiosity feeding the fear of bringing a second child into the world.
I’ve heard the transition between one child to two is probably the hardest transition.
Apparently, anything after that is easy peasy.
Although parenthood is far from easy, having one child is obviously easier than having a large brood.
You’re able to focus all of your attention on this one child and give them your undying, unconditional love.
And that was just me, 17 years old with only one child to dote on.
Life was easy – If Alfie decided to have a lie in on a weekend, I got a lie in too.
If he decided to sit down and watch TV, I got a whole hour of peace and quiet.
Generally, Alfie was a very easy baby. He fed every 4 hours and always had a cheeky smile on his face.
Still at the age of
almost 7 6, he is a fairly easy child – despite somehow turning deaf every time I ask him to do something.
Me and Alfie have grown so close over the years that, a couple of years ago, I never really wanted or desired a second baby.
First reason was fear, I suffered terrible post-natal depression after giving birth to Alfie.
I didn’t want history to repeat itself, despite numerous people telling me it wouldn’t.
Second reason – how could I love another baby as much as I love Alfie?
I believe many parents think and feel the same way.
I had lost 2 years of mine and Alfie’s relationship due to depression.
So another baby meant losing more of that precious time I desired to get back.
I knew deep down I would’ve loved to have a second child – perhaps to be clear of the guilt of not giving Alfie a sibling.
But transitioning from one child to two always daunted me.
How would I cope? What would their relationship be like? Would I lose more time with Alfie?
The answer to the last question is – yes. You do lose more time with your first born.
Baby’s are incredibly demanding and despite always giving my full attention to Alfie, it now has to be shared.
The first few weeks after having a second baby is exhausting.
If you have a big age gap between children like myself – I felt like I was learning everything all over again.
The 6 years between Alfie and Holly meant I had almost forgotten the simplest things which parenting requires.
Meanwhile, still trying to be the best mother I could be to my Alfie.
Life now consists of high pitched squeals, quick easy meals and picking up twice as much mess.
I’d completely forgotten how much mess a 9 month old baby can make.
Quiet homework time for Alfie is now trying to read a sentence without rolling over in fits of laughter at his baby sister farting.
The school run is, most days, a complete disaster.
I’m trying to get Alfie ready, myself ready, Holly ready, all while I’m being clung to by a miserable 9 month old.
Transitioning from one child to two meant I had to teach Alfie to be more independent – which he hadn’t had to do for a whole 6 years of life.
I had to force a more strict routine.
Getting himself dressed and ready in the mornings so I am able to get Holly ready too.
Homework to be completed whenever Holly gave us 10 minutes peace to do so.
Dinner at a certain time, bath and in bed by 8 pm.
Despite myself transitioning from one child to two, Alfie was also transitioning from being an only child to a big brother.
This worried me more than bringing another baby into our lives.
But from the beginning – Alfie has adapted well to his big brother role and absolutely adores his little sister, even more than I thought he would.
Having a second child is a worrying time for us parents.
There is a whole other parenting lifestyle which we have to learn as we juggle two kids.
More mess, more noise, less sleep.
It’s hard work.
What I do know for sure – is I love both of my children unconditionally.
I was given the blessing to love and adore two wonderful babies and to know that, makes this parenthood malarkey much more bearable.